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I <3 Spreadsheets

My dearest Excel,

There’s just something that you do that makes my life so much better. It’s probably in the way you look, with your perfect rectangles, merging capabilities and borders. Damn I love to merge!

You do so much for me. Maybe it’s in your formulas. No matter what I want to do, there’s always an equation to solve my every need. Really, is there anything a smooth *, +, / or SUM can’t achieve? I think not.

It’s in the way you follow direction, and offer me solutions when we don’t quite understand each other. No other number oriented software achieves things as simply as you do.

And your graphs. Carefully negotiating X and Y column values, titles and colour ways. WOW I can’t wait until my next graph needs creating!

But you see, we seem to have a problem. I’ve carelessly abused you and selected some setting that has completely changed the way I understand you. I fear Windows Help tells me I need to uninstall and reinstall you. But will it ever be the same? I fear not!

Simply put, the trust is gone.

We have lost

trust in each other and I may never forget the weird dashing lines jutting every which way on my screen. It’s so unfortunate that it has come to this but as Nelly Furtado says, all good things come to an end.

So long Excel, and since I do not feel like an install and update this afternoon, don’t mind as I cheat on you with your copycat distant relative, Numbers.

Yours in formula,


P.s I’m definitely mad.

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